Posts Tagged ‘ love ’

Falling Into Blue


Rose colored skies turn gray
Words lost that I want to say

Memories fade
There’s no past or today

The future is gone
Feeling like I am totally alone

The walls are closing in
Feeling the need to run

Fear grips me tight
My eyes see but there is no light

A part of me wants to hide
Another urges me to fight

But shadows grow
Day turns into night

Awash with waves of sorrow
Feeling like there’s no tomorrow

Surrender is all that I can do
Helplessly falling into blue

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Millicent


Here I stand
at a crossroads
And yet not.
I have been
Millicent
going into the woods
for a very long time.
Perhaps my entire life.
Playing and dancing
Timid and scared
Determined.
Lost.
Will this face floating forward
Survive
the dream of the day?
Or melt back
into that
quieter, safer place
Not quite ready
to meet
the sunlight?

When Every Breath is a Love Note


Love is a drug, a damn good drug but a drug none the less. Ever users a junkie, and no matter how long you’ve been clean you’re a junkie, an addict, until the day you die. Life is hollow, boring, empty, it’s a waste if you’ve never known love, it’s not life, it’s just a pale cold pantomime of life, motions and shadows but nothing more. Or, or you say ‘fuck it’ you tap the vein, you hit the plunger you get your first taste and your hooked for life. That’s what love is, it a full on cerebral assault, the delivery system may change but that’s not what they’re chasing.

Most days I do think about her, sometimes more than others, the thoughts never stray too far though. She’s different now, who she is today is so far from who she is to me. We wouldn’t recognize one another but for the social obligation to do so. She’s become a waking dream I visit in the in between hours, a place I can go to to hide. A place where all of my petty fears and issues don’t matter, a place where making one another happy, just because you were together was all that mattered. A place without expectations, without time, without death, without betrayal, a place, a place where love is enough, and everything else falls into it’s place along the wayside.

That’s the place where I see here now, in a place where I can protect her from all the worlds horrors, protect her from all my horrors. I know this, this love, I feel it in every bone of my body, proclaim it with every breath I take, and every night when I close my eyes I can find that place, I can forget about how far I’ve gone from that place, from that person. I… I never intended to fall in the first place, it wan’t the plan. It’s never the plan. You fall in love young, you never fall out of it, even when your stories over, when the love story has run it’s course you’ll always know exactly the page you’ll open it to, the passage you’ll read again and again. I’m utterly, madly in love, beyond reason,  beyond any rational justification I am. I am completely and utterly in love…with no one, or maybe with everyone, maybe they’re the same difference really. My life is becoming one long, wonderful love letter written to a beautiful dream I seem to keep having.

I know the story, I just keep walking through life, hands in my pockets, kicking pebbles down the road looking for the story to start, and it just never seems to. Any port in a storm right? Well some nights I could swear I was drowning.

Every great story is about Love, Love of one thing or another. Love of a person, love of one’s self, love of an ideal. Love is the first and only thing that can bring a man, or push a man, or allow a man to do anything of wonder or brilliance. Every word I’ve ever written has been scratched or typed with her face in my mind, every line written for her to read, dictated in my mind even in her voice. Love…the most wonderful torture, the most nightmarish ecstasy, the guiding light and engulfing shadows of life itself. The only thing that makes living worth the effort. Gotta love it

Until Next Time Kiddies

Reason to Smile I’ve Learnt


Through conversing with an insightful friend, I said the following in a moment’s time…

I have learnt that it does not matter that my friends are going to top universities and I am not…
I have learnt that I love spending time with family more than anything else in my life…
I have learnt that I can take opportunities without achieving anything, yet feel good about trying…
I have learnt that I can be me, not perfect, but just original…
I have learnt that I can act without motives and live without regrets…
I have learnt that I will miss everyone I have met, but it does not mean that I will not have better beginnings…
I have learnt that I can let go of people and just hold on to the memories…
I have learnt that competing with other people to make myself feel better or worse isn’t worth the time or effort…
I have learnt that no matter what happens, there is someone in this world who loves me…
I have learnt that I am still learning…
and most importantly, I discovered WHO I AM

I’m amazed and shocked by the trigger of this thought process and this really make me smile. =)

~ Smile Always, L.

PS. – Sometimes the worst news sparks amazing ideas, so do not ever let the worst hold you down. Always hope for the best.

Grenade – Bruno Mars (cover) Megan Nicole


Thanks for telling me this song, this song origanally by Bruno Mars. Lol you told me a song with  a boy singer, now I wanna tell you this one, yeah with a beatifull singer. ROFL this like we doin’ something stupid, doing vice versa thing.

Don’t Talk About Love to Me!!


Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Guys are hurriedly browsing online (I mean, hello, its the 21st century) for an expensive – but not too expensive, mind you – piece of heart-shaped jewelry that will please their female counterparts so that they can celebrate their love for one another on this fine day.

Ah, Love. Such a broad topic.

I mean, not that I know anything about it, really. In the twenty years of my existence on this planet Earth, I’ve experienced love…but not love love. I don’t think anyone’s experienced that kind of passion when they’re so young, at least not until they’re twenty or so. Unless your name is Romeo Montague or Juliet Capulet, that kind of affection just isn’t possible when you haven’t even learned basic Calculus yet. And still, look how the ending of Romeo and Juliet turned out!

Many teens in high school, and nowadays, even middle school, are claiming to be wise in the subject matter. After dating for only two days, Facebook status’s are updated regularly about how much “he means the world to me,” or maybe “I’d catch a grenade for you, honey.”

WHAT. Are you kidding me. Okay, first of all, gross. Not when its all over my Newsfeed. Second of all, after only two days, how can you judge your feelings for someone just like that? Especially if you only just met them. That’s not really love, that’s just the hormones speaking.

I mean, maybe I’m wrong, and you can tell me off if I am. But seriously. You guys are FIFTEEN. What do you know about love? Not very much. And it makes it even more awkward by saying that he or she is the One, and then breaking up a week later.

Am I in Love???


Love
Love???
I am in love with a fantasy.
In love with the thought of what could have been.
In love with trying to change what is, into what could be.
In love with trying to love someone who is unattainable.
In love with a love that won’t let me walk away.
In love with complete trust that is completely unrealistic.
In love with the wish that he would love me the way I love him.
In love with the prince charming that he will never be.
In love with that type of “love” I swore I’d never have.
In love with a love that consumes me.
In love with a love that will never be.
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