Long Time No See

Hi guys, kinda miss you all. I’ve been stuck on the middle of the project. Now I work with a PHP, its a bit difficult because I never use PHP at all. First time I do this project, I must use a framework, named CodeIgnitter.

By the way, I just released my own website, check it out guys at www.peceltempe.co.cc. I used WordPress for my CMS. I haven’t decide what web about I’ll run on it. All in my mind, I wanna make a tutorial about computer science and just share my knowledge.


Falling Into Blue

Rose colored skies turn gray
Words lost that I want to say

Memories fade
There’s no past or today

The future is gone
Feeling like I am totally alone

The walls are closing in
Feeling the need to run

Fear grips me tight
My eyes see but there is no light

A part of me wants to hide
Another urges me to fight

But shadows grow
Day turns into night

Awash with waves of sorrow
Feeling like there’s no tomorrow

Surrender is all that I can do
Helplessly falling into blue

Avenged Sevenfold – Afterlife (Video)


Here I stand
at a crossroads
And yet not.
I have been
going into the woods
for a very long time.
Perhaps my entire life.
Playing and dancing
Timid and scared
Will this face floating forward
the dream of the day?
Or melt back
into that
quieter, safer place
Not quite ready
to meet
the sunlight?

My Black Wallpaper Galery



Some of my desktop wallpaper
All of this walpaper is in big size, about 1600×1200. Click to enlarge.


When Every Breath is a Love Note

Love is a drug, a damn good drug but a drug none the less. Ever users a junkie, and no matter how long you’ve been clean you’re a junkie, an addict, until the day you die. Life is hollow, boring, empty, it’s a waste if you’ve never known love, it’s not life, it’s just a pale cold pantomime of life, motions and shadows but nothing more. Or, or you say ‘fuck it’ you tap the vein, you hit the plunger you get your first taste and your hooked for life. That’s what love is, it a full on cerebral assault, the delivery system may change but that’s not what they’re chasing.

Most days I do think about her, sometimes more than others, the thoughts never stray too far though. She’s different now, who she is today is so far from who she is to me. We wouldn’t recognize one another but for the social obligation to do so. She’s become a waking dream I visit in the in between hours, a place I can go to to hide. A place where all of my petty fears and issues don’t matter, a place where making one another happy, just because you were together was all that mattered. A place without expectations, without time, without death, without betrayal, a place, a place where love is enough, and everything else falls into it’s place along the wayside.

That’s the place where I see here now, in a place where I can protect her from all the worlds horrors, protect her from all my horrors. I know this, this love, I feel it in every bone of my body, proclaim it with every breath I take, and every night when I close my eyes I can find that place, I can forget about how far I’ve gone from that place, from that person. I… I never intended to fall in the first place, it wan’t the plan. It’s never the plan. You fall in love young, you never fall out of it, even when your stories over, when the love story has run it’s course you’ll always know exactly the page you’ll open it to, the passage you’ll read again and again. I’m utterly, madly in love, beyond reason,  beyond any rational justification I am. I am completely and utterly in love…with no one, or maybe with everyone, maybe they’re the same difference really. My life is becoming one long, wonderful love letter written to a beautiful dream I seem to keep having.

I know the story, I just keep walking through life, hands in my pockets, kicking pebbles down the road looking for the story to start, and it just never seems to. Any port in a storm right? Well some nights I could swear I was drowning.

Every great story is about Love, Love of one thing or another. Love of a person, love of one’s self, love of an ideal. Love is the first and only thing that can bring a man, or push a man, or allow a man to do anything of wonder or brilliance. Every word I’ve ever written has been scratched or typed with her face in my mind, every line written for her to read, dictated in my mind even in her voice. Love…the most wonderful torture, the most nightmarish ecstasy, the guiding light and engulfing shadows of life itself. The only thing that makes living worth the effort. Gotta love it

Until Next Time Kiddies

Reason to Smile I’ve Learnt

Through conversing with an insightful friend, I said the following in a moment’s time…

I have learnt that it does not matter that my friends are going to top universities and I am not…
I have learnt that I love spending time with family more than anything else in my life…
I have learnt that I can take opportunities without achieving anything, yet feel good about trying…
I have learnt that I can be me, not perfect, but just original…
I have learnt that I can act without motives and live without regrets…
I have learnt that I will miss everyone I have met, but it does not mean that I will not have better beginnings…
I have learnt that I can let go of people and just hold on to the memories…
I have learnt that competing with other people to make myself feel better or worse isn’t worth the time or effort…
I have learnt that no matter what happens, there is someone in this world who loves me…
I have learnt that I am still learning…
and most importantly, I discovered WHO I AM

I’m amazed and shocked by the trigger of this thought process and this really make me smile. =)

~ Smile Always, L.

PS. – Sometimes the worst news sparks amazing ideas, so do not ever let the worst hold you down. Always hope for the best.